Friday, 1 May 2015

1st May 1935 - Mary to Terrick

Dunally Lodge


Dear Terrick

What I shall feel like when this and next week are over Heaven only knows - a balloon that's been on the point of bursting & has suddenly gone down - specially with Thespians on Thursday, Friday & Saturday & other rehearsals on Saturday, Sunday & Monday.  J. Carlton wants us on Monday from 1.0 p.m to 10 p.m so he told all the court ladies they were not to arrange to meet their "boy friends" about 6 in the evening!  but they were to bring them along to watch - I believe his fiancee is coming - & to crown it all I go back to school on Saturday & school starts on Tuesday.

It seems a very, very long time since I met you at Victoria - I meant to write you a very serious and pious letter that evening - or rather I think it was the next day - but by the time I had settled down with a worried frown between my brows and a pen in my hand - the point in question had walked away from me and dwindled in with the rest of my hectic past.  It still comes back to me occasionally - and makes the most horrible faces at me - but I think it'll go altogether soon - if we give it a chance - and if you don't go to Nice too often!

People are very slow in answering their invitations - i hope a few men can't come, because we've got about 3 too many.  Mummy is going to give me a new frock if she can find one she likes.  We'll see if we can manage one that "lays" on me!!

We're all going up to supper with Grannie tomorrow - it's her 87th birthday - she's a dear old thing - Jill & I are thinking  of giving her tickets for "Lady Precious Stream"

Yesterday I went to tea with Wilkinson (Lysander) & a friend of his - they share a most lowly basement flat in Chelsea (20/- per week).  They both spend their days writing & are frightfully interesting.  I told them about you - generally, I mean - (I feel this makes you very cross - but I find I can't help bringing you in when I want to make my conversation vitally interesting!! - and human!)

I'm having my lemon taffeta dress dyed.

Mrs Cooke asked me if I was going to be engaged yet - or was I going to announce it at my birthday party? (I nonchalantly said "what do you mean? - engaged to be married?")  Actually it's not a bad idea - perhaps a bit embarrassing for you though - if I'd forgotten to warn you beforehand! - I might have to take a leaf out of Mary Burstow's book.

No - I don't think so.  I'm feeling a little to platonic at the moment - I think I usually do feel platonic when you're not there to unnerve me!  I suppose that's a good thing really - but it isn't very romantic.

- I have a great longing at the moment - to have a year's course at the Embassy school of Acting - it's £100 - 100 - 0d - but I've heard such a lot about it lately & it seems wonderful.  I pumped Mummy today - & she didn't down it - but she said she thought it would be a good idea not to tell Miss X definitely about going back in Sept - so I shall just have to play hard.

- I'll expect you at St John's Hall at about 10.45pm on Saturday - I shall just about need a helping hand by that time! - I'm simply aching to see our film - are you going to try it first?  And what about the fort William one?  That's far more exciting - as far as I'm concerned.  Is it at Wensley?  Do get hold of it.

- Darling - I'm feeling very, very platonic this evening - & I don't know your phone number - so I can't alter things.

I have a theory that I'm very good at analysing myself & reactions, psychologically (along with my ancient & much loved theory that I'm "different") - and knowing too well my stupid and rather childish temperament - I realize that always and always the people I like best must be people whom I'm convinced are better than myself (my hero-worship fits just last until I become un-convinced) - Sometimes the least little thing unsettles me inside - and I can't get back again.  I know too that I'm very weak in places & haven't enough self-control to fill an egg-cup.  I do try, from time to time, to be a bit more practical and sensible - but it's going to take me years and years to get to the stage where I'm fit to bring up my own children without making a hash of their emotional qualities.

- This may seem double dutch to you but I'm trying to say something I want to very badly - & I feel you can't understand very well - because you're different.

But please, dearest dear, be very careful with me won't you - I'm an awful fool - you know, don't you? - 

and you see if they're going to be your children too - it complicates matters a bit, doesn't it?


Mary Pleasant

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