O.V.S.
Thursday
In a hurry
Dear Ticky,
Here is the ticket and Hitchin's card for tomorrow. He said 6.30 would be all right for his son to start. We had one of our best rehearsals yesterday - but Carlton thinks Martin Browne will be down on us anyway (although I wouldn't call Carlton by any means a typical example of "Britain's Blue-Eyed Youth" - like Jack - he has three very typical characteristics - he says his prayers every night - can't bear the thought of Germans earning a living on British soil - and won't allow three people to light their cigarettes off one match!))
Mummy was up this morning to ask if you & I would join her & Lingwoods & Flip on Sat. evening to see Simone Simon in "Seventh Heaven" - I said you weren't coming down this weekend & explained etc. (but perhaps you might phone or write her a card if you have time) - and as I have not the slightest inclination to see the film I shall look after the empty house for the evening! The family always manage to leave me to my own devices when you're not going to be with me! Jill & Joan are taking the car up to Reading Regatta for the day.
Grannie was telling me yesterday that she had met Mrs Pearce at the Leven League meeting & she had said how badly she wanted to meet you. I thought I might phone her one day & ask when I could bring you.
It will be nice seeing you on Sunday afternoon but, of course, the shortest times are the worst. I always feel better on Monday mornings than Wednesday nights - but perhaps that's just "night"!
It's dreadful what creatures of habit we become - missing a weekend of you sends everything upside down.
It'll be wonderful with the buses again tomorrow, won't it?
As the curtain is rung up at 7.45 on Friday, we shall disappear to dress for "Lear" as we come second, so shall miss the first play - but shall probably be down again for the third. My seat's next to yours. They may want 2/6 for yours but I'm not sure. Anyhow I shall probably see you about 7.30.
My love as always.
Mary
Saturday 27 May 2017
Thursday 18 May 2017
18th May 1937 - Mary to Terrick
O.V.S.
Tuesday
Darling - Yesterday was such a wonderful day that I feel I simply must write and say thank you very much for that - as well as my two books.
Everything was so lovely - the birds - and sun- and trees - and the peacefulness one minute - and excitement the next - that the memory of it still makes me feel excited - it becomes nicer and nicer as today goes on - I think of it all - and my eyes sparkle (at least, they feel as if they do) and I long to tell everybody how lovely it was!
If I had had the population of the earth lined up in front of me, and had been told to choose who I should pend a birthday like yesterday's with - it would never have been as wonderful, enchanting, long and lovingly remembered as yesterday with you.
It was the nicest birthday I have ever had - it even beat my 17th - which led up till now - and I cannot thank you enough for loving me so much!
Yours, as I always shall be - because I love you so much too.
Mary Pleasant
Tuesday
Darling - Yesterday was such a wonderful day that I feel I simply must write and say thank you very much for that - as well as my two books.
Everything was so lovely - the birds - and sun- and trees - and the peacefulness one minute - and excitement the next - that the memory of it still makes me feel excited - it becomes nicer and nicer as today goes on - I think of it all - and my eyes sparkle (at least, they feel as if they do) and I long to tell everybody how lovely it was!
If I had had the population of the earth lined up in front of me, and had been told to choose who I should pend a birthday like yesterday's with - it would never have been as wonderful, enchanting, long and lovingly remembered as yesterday with you.
It was the nicest birthday I have ever had - it even beat my 17th - which led up till now - and I cannot thank you enough for loving me so much!
Yours, as I always shall be - because I love you so much too.
Mary Pleasant
Sunday 14 May 2017
14th May 1937 - Terrick to Mary
35 Nevern Place
S.W. 5
14th May 1937
Petootie Darling!
You poor old thing! When I opened your letter I certainly did not expect it to be so different from all your others - & so grumbly.
Both you and your mother are right - and wrong. You do owe your mother a lot which you ought to repay her - in attentions; and also you ought to think of what she would like whether you owed her anything or not (Listen to me talking - a bit of practice would be a good thing.) In that way, viewing the matter entirely abstractly and in principle, your mother is right and you are wrong.
But in practice your other makes it difficult for you to carry out what she wants you to do & what it is right for you to do.
Her mind is so wrapt up by & limited to her children - she wants their love and attention so much - but because she needs it so much she goes about it all the wrong way to get. She begs and importunes for it.
To start with she has the handicap that young people are not interested in middle-aged people unless those middle-aged people from their experience can offer them leadership in some thing even if it is only small. Think of some elderly or middle-aged people whom you would choose to spend a day with: Mr Bernays, Hock, the Bishop of Ripon. They are people, aren't they, who you feel you can't help learning from in their own particular way, and who stand independent and firm - to be lent on (in their line) with confidence if necessary.
But as your mother's chief interest is you she cannot lead you, only follow. You cannot lean on her; she is leaning on you.
And to make it worse your mother has put herself in a position where she is not only mentally dependent on you but also physically because she cannot drive the car. By being hard one can ignore and slip off a mind that constantly calls for assistance; but not a foot. You find that in your fairly restricted spare time you have to spend part of it driving to places you don't want to go to, because you have to take someone in whom, if she were not your mother, you would not be interested. It naturally creates friction.
Your mother cannot suddenly change her nature; but think what a difference it would make if she merely learnt to drive. It would as a matter of fact help her just a little to be more mentally independent of you. If she could say instead of "Will you take me to the flood-lighting, Mary?"; "Well, I'm off to town to see the illuminations. Anyone like to come?" It might do her a world of good. Imagine her saying on Sunday morning: "I'm driving down to the sea today with Auntie Esmie. There's room for two in the back." At first she would have to go by herself, but after a bit her family would soon be glad to go with someone who knew her own mind and had the ability to act in accordance with it. At least knowing how to drive would give her the physical ability to move independently of you, even if she didn't often wish to take advantage of it. Try to persuade her to go to the BSM and be properly taught. I am quite prepared to tell her most of all this.
I must stop now or miss the post.
Goodnight my dearest.
Terrick
who loves you.
S.W. 5
14th May 1937
Petootie Darling!
You poor old thing! When I opened your letter I certainly did not expect it to be so different from all your others - & so grumbly.
Both you and your mother are right - and wrong. You do owe your mother a lot which you ought to repay her - in attentions; and also you ought to think of what she would like whether you owed her anything or not (Listen to me talking - a bit of practice would be a good thing.) In that way, viewing the matter entirely abstractly and in principle, your mother is right and you are wrong.
But in practice your other makes it difficult for you to carry out what she wants you to do & what it is right for you to do.
Her mind is so wrapt up by & limited to her children - she wants their love and attention so much - but because she needs it so much she goes about it all the wrong way to get. She begs and importunes for it.
To start with she has the handicap that young people are not interested in middle-aged people unless those middle-aged people from their experience can offer them leadership in some thing even if it is only small. Think of some elderly or middle-aged people whom you would choose to spend a day with: Mr Bernays, Hock, the Bishop of Ripon. They are people, aren't they, who you feel you can't help learning from in their own particular way, and who stand independent and firm - to be lent on (in their line) with confidence if necessary.
But as your mother's chief interest is you she cannot lead you, only follow. You cannot lean on her; she is leaning on you.
And to make it worse your mother has put herself in a position where she is not only mentally dependent on you but also physically because she cannot drive the car. By being hard one can ignore and slip off a mind that constantly calls for assistance; but not a foot. You find that in your fairly restricted spare time you have to spend part of it driving to places you don't want to go to, because you have to take someone in whom, if she were not your mother, you would not be interested. It naturally creates friction.
Your mother cannot suddenly change her nature; but think what a difference it would make if she merely learnt to drive. It would as a matter of fact help her just a little to be more mentally independent of you. If she could say instead of "Will you take me to the flood-lighting, Mary?"; "Well, I'm off to town to see the illuminations. Anyone like to come?" It might do her a world of good. Imagine her saying on Sunday morning: "I'm driving down to the sea today with Auntie Esmie. There's room for two in the back." At first she would have to go by herself, but after a bit her family would soon be glad to go with someone who knew her own mind and had the ability to act in accordance with it. At least knowing how to drive would give her the physical ability to move independently of you, even if she didn't often wish to take advantage of it. Try to persuade her to go to the BSM and be properly taught. I am quite prepared to tell her most of all this.
I must stop now or miss the post.
Goodnight my dearest.
Terrick
who loves you.
Saturday 13 May 2017
13th May 1937 - Mary to Terrick
Home
Thursday
Dear Ticky - We've had another slight bust up here this morning. Mummy asked me if I would drive her up to the office and back this afternoon as she wanted to see the decorations. I said I'd been looking forward to doing nothing all day and just knitting. She was frightfully upset and said she'd been plucking up courage for two days to ask me to do this for her - and had thought of it all yesterday & 50% of her going to bed early was so we could be together - and it was always the same now - whatever she asked me to do for her I never wanted to do it & I never lifted a finger to help anybody. While she did all she could looking after the house, getting the food - having my friends here - living for the time when I came home - and when I didn't want to do things with her or for her it "sapped her very existence" and made her feel she hated me 0 and everybody else would, too, if I didn't pull myself together and help and show some interest in other people.
I know she's said similar things before - but I don't often feel it as badly as I do at the moment. It becomes more and more difficult for me to do things for others. I don't know why I have felt it so much more these last few months - but I can almost remember it starting. The thing I look forward too all the week (when every minute is mapped out - if not school then things for myself) is being able to spend one whole day just choosing what I'll do or not do - and, you see, this way nobody else comes into my reckoning at all - they just don't occur to me. I have never lacked for company or had to depend for home or food on myself - so I've ceased to realize what part the people who do these things for me play in my life. Everything has always been wonderful for me - I wouldn't change places with anybody in the world - just because I suppose, my mother & family have always been so good to me. But when it comes to doing anything for them which interferes with what I had planned for myself (being at school all the week makes me plan out every minute of my day) I SIMPLY CANNOT DO IT - I remind myself a hundred times of my food and roof and clothes and all Mummy does for me - but immediately there creeps in how much I long to be by myself doing the 101 things that can never be done at school, and which make life so interesting - the little things.
You know you tease me sometimes about having 4 months holiday a year and yet complaining of never having enough time to - try writing stories - read book you have to think about - enquire about acting & films - well, of course, a good bit of it is my own lack of effort - I'm not really made of the right stuff - but a pretty good percentage is just because living in this house, with these people is another job in itself - It isn't "4 months holiday" - it's "4 months change of position".
- And just this last two months - with so much apart form this house and the people in it to occupy my time and thoughts it has seemed more and more impossible to think of them.
I know quite, quite well (and don't think I'm fool enough not to be quite sincere) that I'm being horribly selfish to them. You don't think I'm selfish because, naturally, you never have a chance of seeing that side of me (except sometimes!) - but I am - and it seems to grow larger & larger as I get more and more impatient with it all.
Mummy lives just for me and the others - she gives me presents and money and is longing to help me with getting married - and, yet, when she asks me to drive her up to the office and back I say I had thought of knitting all day!! - & it's not only today - it's often and often - & I hate myself - but it doesn't help me to change.
- This evening we go to the Pictures & tomorrow Aunt Floss has to be fetched to lunch & I take them over to watch a wedding at Esher - back to school in the evening - so there's tomorrow gone bang.
If only I could feel sincerely sorry and remember next time - but I don't.
If only someone would explain to me why it's all like this - if it's me that's all wrong and need a jolly good shaking - or our home life that's been a bit mismanaged.
I can't decide by myself - but I do know something's wrong with my not feeling for Mummy & the family the way I should.
We always seem to be in a small vicious circle.
Excuse all this, dearest dear, but I thought perhaps you could do a bit of explaining to me.
This "family" business seems such a thankless task - do you suppose it's worth it?
Your
Mary
Thursday
Dear Ticky - We've had another slight bust up here this morning. Mummy asked me if I would drive her up to the office and back this afternoon as she wanted to see the decorations. I said I'd been looking forward to doing nothing all day and just knitting. She was frightfully upset and said she'd been plucking up courage for two days to ask me to do this for her - and had thought of it all yesterday & 50% of her going to bed early was so we could be together - and it was always the same now - whatever she asked me to do for her I never wanted to do it & I never lifted a finger to help anybody. While she did all she could looking after the house, getting the food - having my friends here - living for the time when I came home - and when I didn't want to do things with her or for her it "sapped her very existence" and made her feel she hated me 0 and everybody else would, too, if I didn't pull myself together and help and show some interest in other people.
I know she's said similar things before - but I don't often feel it as badly as I do at the moment. It becomes more and more difficult for me to do things for others. I don't know why I have felt it so much more these last few months - but I can almost remember it starting. The thing I look forward too all the week (when every minute is mapped out - if not school then things for myself) is being able to spend one whole day just choosing what I'll do or not do - and, you see, this way nobody else comes into my reckoning at all - they just don't occur to me. I have never lacked for company or had to depend for home or food on myself - so I've ceased to realize what part the people who do these things for me play in my life. Everything has always been wonderful for me - I wouldn't change places with anybody in the world - just because I suppose, my mother & family have always been so good to me. But when it comes to doing anything for them which interferes with what I had planned for myself (being at school all the week makes me plan out every minute of my day) I SIMPLY CANNOT DO IT - I remind myself a hundred times of my food and roof and clothes and all Mummy does for me - but immediately there creeps in how much I long to be by myself doing the 101 things that can never be done at school, and which make life so interesting - the little things.
You know you tease me sometimes about having 4 months holiday a year and yet complaining of never having enough time to - try writing stories - read book you have to think about - enquire about acting & films - well, of course, a good bit of it is my own lack of effort - I'm not really made of the right stuff - but a pretty good percentage is just because living in this house, with these people is another job in itself - It isn't "4 months holiday" - it's "4 months change of position".
- And just this last two months - with so much apart form this house and the people in it to occupy my time and thoughts it has seemed more and more impossible to think of them.
I know quite, quite well (and don't think I'm fool enough not to be quite sincere) that I'm being horribly selfish to them. You don't think I'm selfish because, naturally, you never have a chance of seeing that side of me (except sometimes!) - but I am - and it seems to grow larger & larger as I get more and more impatient with it all.
Mummy lives just for me and the others - she gives me presents and money and is longing to help me with getting married - and, yet, when she asks me to drive her up to the office and back I say I had thought of knitting all day!! - & it's not only today - it's often and often - & I hate myself - but it doesn't help me to change.
- This evening we go to the Pictures & tomorrow Aunt Floss has to be fetched to lunch & I take them over to watch a wedding at Esher - back to school in the evening - so there's tomorrow gone bang.
If only I could feel sincerely sorry and remember next time - but I don't.
If only someone would explain to me why it's all like this - if it's me that's all wrong and need a jolly good shaking - or our home life that's been a bit mismanaged.
I can't decide by myself - but I do know something's wrong with my not feeling for Mummy & the family the way I should.
We always seem to be in a small vicious circle.
Excuse all this, dearest dear, but I thought perhaps you could do a bit of explaining to me.
This "family" business seems such a thankless task - do you suppose it's worth it?
Your
Mary
Wednesday 10 May 2017
10th May 1937 - Terrick to Mary
Ladies' Army & Navy Club
27 St James's Place, S.W.1.
10th May 1937
Darling,
I am coming straight down from the office tomorrow. As my mother has to get up so early she is going to bed early.
We may all three go to "The Good Earth" on Thursday. We have just been to see "Black Limelight" - quite exciting, but I have known it better done.
Goodnight, my darling. Three months and twenty eight days.
I love you.
Terrick
Ring me tomorrow & let me know if we can meet at Richmond. Or are you going home earlier?
27 St James's Place, S.W.1.
10th May 1937
Darling,
I am coming straight down from the office tomorrow. As my mother has to get up so early she is going to bed early.
We may all three go to "The Good Earth" on Thursday. We have just been to see "Black Limelight" - quite exciting, but I have known it better done.
Goodnight, my darling. Three months and twenty eight days.
I love you.
Terrick
Ring me tomorrow & let me know if we can meet at Richmond. Or are you going home earlier?
Tuesday 2 May 2017
2nd May 1937 - Postcard from Terrick to Mary
A lovely morning. I have been wandering round Cologne but I wanted to show you so much all the time. A good crossing, but a frightfully overheated carriage. We arrived here at 6am It's now 8.15. I leave again at 10am. I have bought a book of de Maupassaant's short stories to read in the train. They are very good.
Terrick
How did the birthday party go?
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