Wednesday, 24 June 2015

24th June 1935 - Mary to Terrick

Old Vicarage School
Richmond

June 24th '35


Dearest Terrick,

The boarders are all skipping round the back lawn in their bathing-costumes - and are now lying on top of each other to see how high a pile they can get without toppling over.  I am keeping watch over them for Hasty. P. who wishes to partake of a bath.  I have been to the baths twice today and feel like a squeezed towel - but my crawl is coming on.

I phoned Helen and she said she was really going out at 7.0. - but she could put him off until 8.0 as 'clients came first'! - you see I suddenly remembered that the children's tennis coach had promised to give Miss Olsson & myself a few hits tomorrow from 5-6 - so that means I can't get to Earl's Court until 6.30.  Anyway Helen will have finished with me by 8.0 - so I'll look in and see you somewhere about 8.15 (if that is convenient?)  I wouldn't mind another German lesson - unless it's too hot & I'm feeling fractious! - or perhaps you'll be too tired?  Still, I'll bring the book in case.

- Were you very late this morning? - Perhaps you'd better catch the 8.15 next time - as we're very erratic - but it's so much nicer having you up to the last minute.

It becomes more and more interesting to me to notice the way my feelings towards you undergo periodical - and fairly regular changes.  I can practically class them all under various titles now - but find it difficult to account for some of them.  I think a fair amount is due to the different conditions in which I see you.

I have written to Inge today to tell her we'll meet her in the car next Sunday.  I was wondering (as I continually do!) whether we couldn't spend the first week of August with Eileen - Inge goes home on Thursday, August 1st with a party of people who're also coming over on June 30th - so we could send her home and say I would go to her about the 9th until the end of August - but I suppose perhaps Eileen wouldn't want us them because of the African friend?  But it would be lovely if she was there at the same time?

But I expect this is all very hopeless & impractical - only your holiday without me seems such a waste - you see nothing's at its best when you're not there -

Mary   xxx

p.s. - I have just unstuck the envelope again because as I licked the stamp I thought of my last sentence.

I know I never say very much about all the work you do to try and get a better job - and make your income a presentable size - but I think of it  and I love to hear you plan and get excited about it - just because it fits in so well with my idea of you I suppose it's natural that your reason for doing things shouldn't appeal quite in the same way to me.  I love and admire your determination and enthusiasm - because of what it shows me of you - as well as having the thrill of knowing that something's being done for me 

- Perhaps it is here that a woman shows her love of dependence - so I'd better retract - 

But please believe that I love you for every inspiration you have - every job you write for - and every story you send off - because such driving force is beyond my ken and causes me to sit humbly on your blue carpet and gaze upwards with awe at the man I love.

Your Mary

24th June 1935 - Mary to Terrick

Old Vicarage School
Richmond

June 24th '35


Dearest Terrick,

The boarders are all skipping round the back lawn in their bathing-costumes - and are now lying on top of each other to see how high a pile they can get without toppling over.  I am keeping watch over them for Hasty. P. who wishes to partake of a bath.  I have been to the baths twice today and feel like a squeezed towel - but my crawl is coming on.

I phoned Helen and she said she was really going out at 7.0. - but she could put him off until 8.0 as 'clients came first'! - you see I suddenly remembered that the children's tennis coach had promised to give Miss Olsson & myself a few hits tomorrow from 5-6 - so that means I can't get to Earl's Court until 6.30.  Anyway Helen will have finished with me by 8.0 - so I'll look in and see you somewhere about 8.15 (if that is convenient?)  I wouldn't mind another German lesson - unless it's too hot & I'm feeling fractious! - or perhaps you'll be too tired?  Still, I'll bring the book in case.

- Were you very late this morning? - Perhaps you'd better catch the 8.15 next time - as we're very erratic - but it's so much nicer having you up to the last minute.

It becomes more and more interesting to me to notice the way my feelings towards you undergo periodical - and fairly regular changes.  I can practically class them all under various titles now - but find it difficult to account for some of them.  I think a fair amount is due to the different conditions in which I see you.

I have written to Inge today to tell her we'll meet her in the car next Sunday.  I was wondering (as I continually do!) whether we couldn't spend the first week of August with Eileen - Inge goes home on Thursday, August 1st with a party of people who're also coming over on June 30th - so we could send her home and say I would go to her about the 9th until the end of August - but I suppose perhaps Eileen wouldn't want us them because of the African friend?  But it would be lovely if she was there at the same time?

But I expect this is all very hopeless & impractical - only your holiday without me seems such a waste - you see nothing's at its best when you're not there -

Mary   xxx

Friday, 19 June 2015

19th June 1935 - Terrick to Mary

35 Nevern Place
S.W. 5

19th June 1935


My Darling Mary,

I have just rung you up for the second time.  I hope you didn't think I was vague & queer in saying what I was going to do tomorrow, but you see at least four people can hear every word I say, and I don't want everybody to know all about it here.

I have got about twenty-five film producing companys addresses from the Buff Phone Book and a good many of them are in Wardour St so I'll do a round of them tomorrow.  Even if I don't succeed in getting interviews with the staff managers I'll talk to somebody who looks as if they know & find found out from them what sort of a job I had better go for to start with, what the pay would be and so on.

I think that even if they pay is only £3 a week with prospects I'll take it, because it is only for the prospects that I am leaving the Poly (or trying to).

I must get something pretty soon.  At present I just feel that I may be spoiling some good matrimonial chances for you.  Fortunately you are only twenty-one otherwise I'd feel definitely wrong in monopolising your time without some prospect of being able to get married.

At the present minute by staying in the Poly I am losing everything I want, so that in leaving the Poly & taking the risk of a new job I really do not risk losing anything much.  I'm going to take a chance.  If I lose & get landed in something worse, well, I can't be worse off as regards marrying you.  Since I am now so far from the one thing I want, I shan't notice losing a few minor things if I end up still far off from you.

But where there's a will there's a way and before you're much older I'll damn well have something in the way of prospects.

I'll go to the Worker's Bookshop and see if I can get some sympathetically written life of Marat, showing his importance - in the light of history - in the movement for working class liberation. "The Angel of the Assassination" keeps calling him "vile, loathsome" etc that one can't get any good idea of why he was so much followed by the people in the French Revolution.

Now that I have read "The Angel" I can see greater possibilities of a really vital theme than I had ever suspected before, but it may be difficult to break it up and mould it into a play.

"Edwy" is gone to the Embassy.  I must finish counting the words of "The Slug" tonight & get "Mystery & Detection" tomorrow.  Life is great fun with so much to do, to aim for and to look forward to.

I have come to the conclusion the I would rather be a film director than a dramatist, the former can express so much more and get so much more subtle effects.  One day I'll make a film lasting two and a half hours like a play, and split it up into acts.  Then there will be time to get a real epic (overused word!) on the screen.

Do you think I write too much about things like writing and ambitions, & too little about what intimately concerns me and you?  It is because, I think, one is so wrapped up in the other.  To you I talk of my ambitions; in going for my ambitions I have an eye all the time on you.

I have been lazy, enjoying life and experiences and seeing the world, but I am waking up now - I am putting away childish things, and you shall see --.

I love you and I am determined to win you from this oyster of a world.

Your

Terrick
              XXX

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

17th June 1935 - Mary to Terrick

Old Vicarage School
Richmond

June 17th 1935


Dear Heart - I'm writing under great difficulty as the elocution class of some Richmond woman I've never heard of, is rehearsing "Sixteen" in the gym with the doors open - and it makes me itch to sit here and listen to them.  Miss Olsson is complaining that I'm being a bit snappy this evening and has suggested I'm writing to you - though I can't see how the two things join up.  We have had a very hectic game of tennis and I came back dripping with heat - so I washed and lay on my bed in my petticoat for half an hour and fell fast asleep (as usual) - but not before I'd thought how nice it would be one day to go to sleep and wake up and find you there - I often imagine nice times to myself like that - like when I had to rest in the morning when I was small I always used to shut my eyes and pretend I was being pushed along in the pram again - and people kept looking in and saying "what a beautiful child, Mrs Ormiston, how old did you say she was?"! - thinking of you waking me up gives me exactly the same sort of thrill so perhaps in the letter you're going to write me tomorrow evening (as well as phoning) you might explain the psychology of it for me, will you? (But you needn't if it's too lurid!)

What shall we do this weekend? - At 2.30 on Saturday I've got to spout the Prologue at Asgill House - but it'll only take me 10 minutes so I could meet you afterwards & we could go home together.  I think Jack & Jill will be going to Marlow regatta - or we could go for a walk somewhere if you liked.

- Will you come & see Jack at St John's Hall on Friday?  I suppose we ought to because he came to see me - but I feel it'll be a bit difficult to sit through when he's not on.

The weather doesn't look as if it's going to be up to much this week for the river but we can find something else, can't we?

- I must stop and catch the post - and then do some German !!

I suppose no one can ever say all they want to to someone they love - not even in a letter - but I'd give a lot to say more to you.

I still have dreadful heart pangs that you don't know the real me. - because, you see, I don't really.  - But the worst thing about me is my innate "weakness" in everything I do and aim at - and you know a fair amount about that - so it's a bit of a load off my mind.  I have great hopes of strengthening with age - I might even be a woman worth respecting when I'm 40!

Your love is a tremendous thing in my life - because it makes me put someone else first - and one day it might even do all the books say it does!

- However, I love you simply, damnably & subhumanly at this moment.

Mary xxx

Monday, 15 June 2015

15th June 1935 - Terrick to Mary

Hotel Moderne
Boulogne s/Mer

Marcel Bray, Propr

Confort Moderne
Teleph 3.69

R.C. Boulogne 6177


15th June 1935

Darling Mary Pleasant,

What a waste of a perfect week-end.  Here the sky is blue & the sun is shining.  The crossing was perfect.

I have brought over a man called Drew to instruct him in the job, so that there will be more of us to divide the job - & so the week-ends.  After this I shall only have to come over once every four weeks.

--------------------------------

Sunday

I had no more time at the hotel for writing as I went out to meet the boat which was sighted ahead of time.

No answer has come to the cruise manager letter, but I don't really expect one for a day or two yet.  Probably though they'll be able to get someone who has actually done the job.

I have spent all evening concocting and writing out the story of my film scenario.

There are parts for you, Jack, Mrs Ormo, Renny (or Bill Hare), Paget, Andy, David & John Lingwood, with walking on parts for Jill, me and two other men - say Mr Lingwood and another.

There is not much opportunity for acting as it is just a thriller, but I'll do another one later for you to "emote" in.

Can you come up here on 

Shall we go on the river again one day this week, with Miss Cross's rig as before?  the best way will be to find a fine evening and then to ring up and fix it & come down right away.

Your week-end sounded lovely in spite of the rain.  I wish I had been there.  I don't want you in fits & starts, sometimes more often than others, but all the time with a steady longing.

I'm going on doing my best to get a decently paid job.  I'll find out who to write to for jobs in a film studio.  I'll get something before long by hook or by crook.

Well, goodnight, dear.

I must take this to the post and come back & make up my parcel & write home.

I love you

Terrick
             XXX

Thursday, 11 June 2015

11th June - Terrick to Mary

11th June 1935

Darling Mary Pleasant,

Have you had a good time?  I rang you up an hour and twenty minutes ago, at 9.45 but you hadn't got back.  I think Miss Hastings answered the phone.

I got your card this morning but not the letter you mentioned on it.

I spent a very quiet time here.  The only jollification I went in for was a few beers with Renny and "Lives of a Bengal Lancer" at the Kensington.  A funny film.  All the outstanding bits were good, such as the snake-charming, the pig-sticking and the attempt to rescue Stone, but the story was the most dripping-with-sentiment one I have ever seen; it made the first half of the film ridiculous.

I am going to ring you up again tonight but in case you are not yet in will you come to "Love on the Dole" with me tomorrow - Wednesday.  If you can get away in time ring me up at the office and meet me in town for a meal.  If you can get away so soon come and have dinner here & do some German (really) and read "The Slug" which I finished over the weekend.  i want your criticism of it.

All the rises have been refused, although Ashe admitted that I ought to have one.  the firm can't afford it & there may be cuts at the end of the season.

I wrote yesterday to Marit (the girl who writes scenarios at Elstree) and I am going to do my best to get some introductions from her.  From now on I must not relax my efforts to get another job.  The Poly is a wash-out.

I have just tried to ring you again.  So far there is no answer.  If it doesn't come through in a minute or two I shall have to take this to the post.  Ring me up tomorrow - at 1.30p.m. if possible.

All Love

Terrick
             XXX

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

10th June 1935 - Mary to Terrick



Have you got my letter yet?  It's very difficult not knowing where you are.  I'm having a very nice time & P & I bathed yesterday.  We hope to be back by 9.30 on Tuesday evening - could I come to see you on Wednesday?

Went for a lovely walk here yesterday evening & had supper on a haystack.

xx M.P.O.

Monday, 8 June 2015

8th June 1935 - Mary to Terrick

'Silbury'
West Raunton

June 8th 1935

Darling - I have been intending to write this in some exciting place - so that I could say - "I am writing this on the precipitous cliff edge" or "on the site of some ancient Roman encampment" - (like the dear man in H.V. Morton's 'Steps of the Master' "who had been allowed a year's trip round the world by his wife and wrote to her from every historical spot" - 'I am sitting at the top of the leaning tower of Pisa' - or 'I am now watching the sun rise form the middle of the sea of Galilee') - but - ever since we arrived the wind has been blowing in such a gale that to take a pad out of doors would mean complete chaos - so I thought you'd prefer a readable letter from plain "in-doors" - "I am sitting at an ordinary writing desk in a sitting-room with 3 arm-chairs and a gaudy carpet, looking out onto a privet hedge.  It is 10.15pm and we are all full of the most excellent dinner of roast beef - beans and new potatoes".

It's a very nice clean little house with electric light and gas and a bath and can sleep 7 easily - so we're very sorry we couldn't get more people to come, as we have so much waste space - but it's a save on the washing-up.  Miss X asked me again if we couldn't persuade you to come - and it would have been wonderful to have had you here - but I said you were going to Fort William - so I do hope you were able to go.

Today we went shopping in Cromer - a very typically sea-side "resort" - and this afternoon Miss & Mrs X went to sleep and Patricia and I wandered along the cliff with books and rugs and chocolate - and found a magnificently sunny sheltered ledge half way down the side on which we disported ourselves in supreme contentment, to arise at 4.0 and take a gentle paddle in the sea before returning home to cut cucumber sandwiches for tea.  Tomorrow we have all sworn to bathe - if the wind drops  bit.  It's much less boisterous this evening owing to overwhelming thunderstorm about 2 hours ago.  We found a tiny little downy bird in the back garden after lunch, and as he couldn't fly we climbed a ladder and put him back in an empty nest - hoping it was his.  But the storm must have thrown him out, and he killed himself - so we had to bury him this evening after dinner.  It was very sad - because he could nearly fly.

I haven't taken any photographs yet, because I'm becoming rather particular about my subject matter - only I will take one or two sometime just to show you what it was like.  There is an old Roman camp just up wooded hills behind us, which we're going to look at tomorrow (after our lunch of duck & green peas!) - and also a rather nice looking old ruined priory.  The journey up took us exactly 5 hours - stopping in a very nice hay-field for tea just past Baldock.  The café in Baldock reminded me of the way up and back from F.W. - on the way back we seriously considered sending you a sarcastic post-card from there!

The Norfolk scenery is frightfully flat but you come across very nice patches.  Barton Mills was the prettiest village we came through; with a most lovely square, Georgian "Bull Inn" over-looking a tree-hung river.

I feel it's about time I stopped this rambling and partook myself to bed.  Patricia has been engaged for the past two hours on a ""Mammoth" jig-saw puzzle of 'over 400 pieces' of Exeter Cathedral - she sends her love and says she's fed up as progress is so slow.  We are sharing a bedroom which has a most wonderful sweep of sea from the window.  It's her turn to switch off the light tonight - hooray!  I'm glad you keep my letters because one day they'll serve as a kind of reference diary for me which I can look up to discover what nice things I did when I was young.

This is being a very nice weekend and Miss X is a dear to have asked me - but I find I can't quite put all my heart into it, as my heart doesn't all belong to me these days.  If ever I find myself somewhere peaceful and beautiful or interesting or amusing, the bit of my heart that is no longer mine always calls to me from somewhere else and says "I wish Ticky were here - he would enjoy it all".

Things have come to a pretty pass!!

All my love.

Yours

Mary Pleasant
                    xxx

Saturday, 6 June 2015

5th June 1935 - Terrck to Mary

5.6.35

Darling

I am sitting in Renny's room.  We have just come back from Aunt Mildred's.  Both Eileen & Herbert send you their love & want your address in Berlin so that they can get into touch with you there.

I got my play back from John Gielgud this evening with a letter saying that he did not want a period play at present ant that he very much doubted the drawing-power of the Saxon play however well written.

So I'll send it to the Embassy.  Donald Wolfit told Lamb exactly the same about the Saxon setting when Lamb told him about my play.  If it proves an insuperable ?? the play will at any rate have taught me a lot.

I do hope I can come home with you tomorrow.  I want to talk to you all about nothing.  I love you very much & am getting very impatient at waiting for you. 

Terrick
             XXX

Friday, 5 June 2015

5th June 1935 - Mary to Terrick

O.V.S.

June 5th 1935

Dearest Dear _ I've only got 15 minutes before the post goes - and I feel as if I've got such a lot to say - but I haven't really - it's only "feeling".

I've just 'phoned Mummy & she says of course you can come tomorrow.  I should love you to - if you are quite sure you won't put all the blame on me for taking you away from your cine evening.  But, you see, it would be a very long time - nearly 10 days if you don't come.

We leave here at 2 on Friday - & may get there about 8.0p.m. I'll get the address for you tomorrow.  Oh - I would have liked to have seen Eileen.

I'm getting my "Amateur Theatre" tomorrow too.

Darling - thank-you for saying you'd come - I'm sorry to be so importunate.

- I don't improve much, do I?  never mind - there's still time.

I love you tremendously -

Yours   Mary
                   xxx

(Have just thought - are you getting discouraged about my ever improving?)