Saturday, 14 March 2015

14th March 1935 - Terrick to Mary

Victoria Hotel

Early Hours of 14th March 1935

My Darling, 

The Manchester Reunion is over.  The greatest success, both financially & as an entertainment, of all the provincial ones.  Everybody is pleased; and so we go on to-morrow (or rather, today) to Leeds, where on Friday we shall have (financially, at any rate) the worst of the lot.

Since last week-end I love you, if that were possible, even more than before. Because I realise how much you must have loved me to have loved me at all while thinking me, rightly, so selfish where money was concerned.

It was the first time that I had ever become suddenly aware of a great fault in myself.  I have thought a good deal about what you said, and the more I thought the more I realise how terrible I had been.  It was no excuse to say that I spent all the money I got, because there s no doubt that except where I couldn't help it it has all been spent on myself.  But now that I do realise it, my selfishness disgusts me.  Ever since Sunday I have been going to the opposite extreme (I have had a good deal of opportunity), but I don't think it is just a temporary reaction.  I promise you you shall never feel humiliated because of me again on that score.

Yesterday in the lunch hour I went to see two firms about jobs.  One I hope to hear from in about a month's time & the other, though they had nothing, told me of another firm that may have.  I don't think there is anything to be made in it.

Darling, I can't do "The Beggars Opera" on Monday.  I have a political meeting; will Tuesday do for you?


Next morning at Breakfast

I have to dash out immediately I have finished, so I'll stop now and write to you again from Leeds.

All my love


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