33 Nevern Place
S.W.5
1st November 1936
My Darling,
Are you frozen to death? I feel a bit anxious for you because I'm sure the cottage can't be warm in such weather as this. I'd much rather you were within thick walls. Still it is fine today, whereas yesterday, in town, was appalling.
I was at the Museum from 10am till 6pm writing hard with about 40 minutes off for lunch. In the evening I sat & talked to Renny who came up to see me. This morning he and I went to the Junior Constitutional Club which Renny is thinking of joining. We got particulars & then the man asked us if we should like to see over the club. We said 'yes' and he sent a boy to find the manager. When he came he turned out to be Mr Churchman, the late owner of the Hotel Bellevue at Mentone, whom of course I knew well. It is a very large place, dignified but dull. The place is full of statues of Disraeli.
This afternoon & evening until supper time I wrote all the time. After supper I started again but Renny asked me to come and sit in his room (hence the address at the top of this letter), so as I wanted to write to you and home I brought my writing things and did so.
Just after I started this letter Mrs Griffiths came to say that there was a Mr Muir to see me. He is a fellow who was in the Poly this season, but who wanted to go into the Church. When I got to the hall of No 35 I was astonished to see him in black cassock with cape and prayer book & two white tails at his throat. He is at an Anglican theo. collage. We sat in my room and talked for about an hour. As we went down Mrs Nutt, the ever-curious, opened her door and asked me to post a letter for her. I handed it to Muir and when she saw him her eyes nearly popped out of her head.
Can I come to your rehearsal on Tuesday? That would be much better than asking for an afternoon off, and I shouldn't have to wait so long. Let me know when you ring me up on Monday after you get home.
I have missed you! It is absolutely necessary to me to see you at least twice a week, preferably though every day. You are to me like insulin to a diabetic, unless I see you regularly and often I get restless and unconcentrating from thinking of you. let me know where to meet you on Tuesday.
Goodnight, dear. I do hope you get this letter before your leave the cottage tomorrow. Don't catch cold.
All I have
Terrick
Tuesday, 1 November 2016
Monday, 31 October 2016
31st October 1936 - Mary to Terrick
Cottage
(Milton, Moat Lane, Prestwood, Buckinghamshire)
Saturday
Dearest Ticky - Thank you very much for finding time to write to me yesterday evening - It was the most lovely surprise when we were all engaged in speculation as to whether the sausages were really cooking on the electric stove, to hear a ring at the front door bell - and Miss X saying - "well, I don't know what we can do now, because the door won't open" - and then to see my letter all by itself lying face upwards on the mat. I really didn't deserve it either - because I was so cross with you when you said you couldn't come. You see, Terrick, it never has, and never will make any difference telling me the reason you can't come where I want you to (although of course, in my saner moments, I always realise how unreasonable I am & how right you are) - but I live in a state now which I feel is just like being married to you - spiritually, but not materially - I have felt it grow gradually month by month - when it is almost unbearable for me to go a week without seeing you.
It's like being cut off from half the means of one's existence - and I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Ever since last holidays I have found myself living more and more just for you - from Wednesday to the weekend - from the weekend to Wednesday - and & on it goes - & every time I have to say goodbye to you the ache inside me gets more & more. I know it's wrong for anybody just to live for one person - & I've always lived half of me for school up till now - but it's getting so very difficult, my dearest dear - it's an overwhelming obsession growing inside me, to see you every day - I feel if I could do that I could go on waiting to be really married to you for any length of time (so you see my "want" is quite different from yours) - and when anything comes in the way of my weekends or Wednesdays with you, something goes snap inside me and I lose all logic, reason or common sense.
It has been an awful day today - raining all the time, but we spent the morning cooking & then the oven was so hot it burnt everything! I took the two boarders to Amersham to the pictures this afternoon which were quite nice - Miss X went to sleep & had a bath. We got in at 5.30 & I had a bath too - & we're now all sitting round a lovely fire reading. I'm enjoying it very much - & I don't know whether you would have liked it very much. I hope the weather cheers up tomorrow. We expect to get back to Richmond on Monday between 6 and 7 - Miss X suggested she dropped me at the station to come up and see you. Can I? I'll phone you from the station to say when I'm coming - in case you're not in.
- I really don't think, darling, I shall be able to come next Friday - besides I'd much rather go to a staff dance where I don't know anybody else - I don't mind Paul & Renny - but not my family.
I thought of you in the British Museum this morning - did you look up F.W. all the time? - or wasn't the temptation a bit too great to go back to Pitt's letter?
I must go & get the supper - I'll finish this sometime tomorrow
(Milton, Moat Lane, Prestwood, Buckinghamshire)
Saturday
Dearest Ticky - Thank you very much for finding time to write to me yesterday evening - It was the most lovely surprise when we were all engaged in speculation as to whether the sausages were really cooking on the electric stove, to hear a ring at the front door bell - and Miss X saying - "well, I don't know what we can do now, because the door won't open" - and then to see my letter all by itself lying face upwards on the mat. I really didn't deserve it either - because I was so cross with you when you said you couldn't come. You see, Terrick, it never has, and never will make any difference telling me the reason you can't come where I want you to (although of course, in my saner moments, I always realise how unreasonable I am & how right you are) - but I live in a state now which I feel is just like being married to you - spiritually, but not materially - I have felt it grow gradually month by month - when it is almost unbearable for me to go a week without seeing you.
It's like being cut off from half the means of one's existence - and I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Ever since last holidays I have found myself living more and more just for you - from Wednesday to the weekend - from the weekend to Wednesday - and & on it goes - & every time I have to say goodbye to you the ache inside me gets more & more. I know it's wrong for anybody just to live for one person - & I've always lived half of me for school up till now - but it's getting so very difficult, my dearest dear - it's an overwhelming obsession growing inside me, to see you every day - I feel if I could do that I could go on waiting to be really married to you for any length of time (so you see my "want" is quite different from yours) - and when anything comes in the way of my weekends or Wednesdays with you, something goes snap inside me and I lose all logic, reason or common sense.
It has been an awful day today - raining all the time, but we spent the morning cooking & then the oven was so hot it burnt everything! I took the two boarders to Amersham to the pictures this afternoon which were quite nice - Miss X went to sleep & had a bath. We got in at 5.30 & I had a bath too - & we're now all sitting round a lovely fire reading. I'm enjoying it very much - & I don't know whether you would have liked it very much. I hope the weather cheers up tomorrow. We expect to get back to Richmond on Monday between 6 and 7 - Miss X suggested she dropped me at the station to come up and see you. Can I? I'll phone you from the station to say when I'm coming - in case you're not in.
- I really don't think, darling, I shall be able to come next Friday - besides I'd much rather go to a staff dance where I don't know anybody else - I don't mind Paul & Renny - but not my family.
I thought of you in the British Museum this morning - did you look up F.W. all the time? - or wasn't the temptation a bit too great to go back to Pitt's letter?
I must go & get the supper - I'll finish this sometime tomorrow
* * * *
In a great hurry to go out for a walk. - Sunday afternoon. We went for a wonderful one yesterday evening - full moon through our larch path - you would have loved it.
Church this morning - wonderful day -
Hope I see you tomorrow.
All my love
Mary
Sunday, 30 October 2016
30th October 1936 - Terrick to Mary
35 Nevern Place
30th October 1936
My dear little girl,
How are you enjoying yourself with your girls? I am sitting at my desk waiting until it is time to go to Aunt Mildred's and trying to pretend that writing to you is as good as seeing you.
I can't ask for Wednesday afternoon off until after the weekend as if I did it before the S.M. might say I could take it instead of Saturday morning which would defeat the whole object of my not coming to see you tomorrow.
I was out of the office practically all day - in the morning I went to see a French woman journalist about a French military band. I was given the wrong address & so had a long search before I could find her. Then she wasn't in so I made an appointment for 4 p.m. At 2.30 I had to be at London Bridge Station to do some detective work about one of our reps, and I was kept there until it was time to go to the journalist again. It was beastly hot and I got a bit disagreeable with myself.
The first Poly dance has not had the response we hoped, unless people are going to buy tickets at the door, and so the staff are being encouraged to come & bring their friends free. It is really only an "evening dress" optional dance but if I get a large enough party together I am going to get them to come in full evening dress. With Jack's friends, and Paul's and Renny & his partner I hope to have about twenty. It won't hurt you to miss a class. You can always learn how to cook the thing you missed at home.
After dinner
Aunt Mildred & Uncle George send you their love & say that you must come another evening. Aunt Mildred said that when Mummy went to lunch there she (Aunt M) asked her if she mentioned the engagement while she was at Shepperton, & when she said no, told her she jolly well ought to have.
Uncle George has given me an old carriage clock of his which I have put on the mantelpiece. We shall now have an extra reminder of when it is 11 p.m.
Remember me to Miss Cross and when you get grumpy because I am not with you remember that I am scribbling away like steam to the end that we may be together for always. No other inducement could have kept me from you.
Goodnight, petootie. Think of me, and love me, as I love you. The day will come when we shall not have to wait to see each other.
All my thoughts and hopes are in your keeping.
Terrick
XXX
Tomorrow night is Hallowe'en. Dream of me.
30th October 1936
My dear little girl,
How are you enjoying yourself with your girls? I am sitting at my desk waiting until it is time to go to Aunt Mildred's and trying to pretend that writing to you is as good as seeing you.
I can't ask for Wednesday afternoon off until after the weekend as if I did it before the S.M. might say I could take it instead of Saturday morning which would defeat the whole object of my not coming to see you tomorrow.
I was out of the office practically all day - in the morning I went to see a French woman journalist about a French military band. I was given the wrong address & so had a long search before I could find her. Then she wasn't in so I made an appointment for 4 p.m. At 2.30 I had to be at London Bridge Station to do some detective work about one of our reps, and I was kept there until it was time to go to the journalist again. It was beastly hot and I got a bit disagreeable with myself.
The first Poly dance has not had the response we hoped, unless people are going to buy tickets at the door, and so the staff are being encouraged to come & bring their friends free. It is really only an "evening dress" optional dance but if I get a large enough party together I am going to get them to come in full evening dress. With Jack's friends, and Paul's and Renny & his partner I hope to have about twenty. It won't hurt you to miss a class. You can always learn how to cook the thing you missed at home.
____________________________________
After dinner
Aunt Mildred & Uncle George send you their love & say that you must come another evening. Aunt Mildred said that when Mummy went to lunch there she (Aunt M) asked her if she mentioned the engagement while she was at Shepperton, & when she said no, told her she jolly well ought to have.
Uncle George has given me an old carriage clock of his which I have put on the mantelpiece. We shall now have an extra reminder of when it is 11 p.m.
Remember me to Miss Cross and when you get grumpy because I am not with you remember that I am scribbling away like steam to the end that we may be together for always. No other inducement could have kept me from you.
Goodnight, petootie. Think of me, and love me, as I love you. The day will come when we shall not have to wait to see each other.
All my thoughts and hopes are in your keeping.
Terrick
XXX
Tomorrow night is Hallowe'en. Dream of me.
Thursday, 27 October 2016
27th October 1936 - Mary to Terrick
My darling - it is very wrong of me to write this - but I've come to the end of things to do in the office and I've been thinking.
It's Matron's wedding day - she was being married at 12 o'clock & the reception is at an hotel in Earl's Court - I do so wish I could have gone. I seem to take such a melancholy delight in weddings!! It was funny seeing her yesterday - and thinking she would belong to another family by tomorrow - and that when she talked about "going home" she would be going to another place - and that if she cut her finger or was sick on the carpet there wouldn't be anybody "grown-upper" than herself to clear it up or look after her.
If you ever got a pain suddenly and went as white as a sheet - what should I do? I think perhaps if it wasn't you I should know at once & putyou them to bed & send for a doctor - but with you - I think I should have a pain myself and go as white as a sheet too! - and that wouldn't be much good.
Animals leave their mothers when they're still babies and learn to fend for themselves while they're young, but we go on and on letting our mothers bind up our fingers and hold our heads over basins and buy us cough lozenges, until we want suddenly to break away to look after somebody else. I think I must take some courses in everything - so that by the time you marry me I'm a hard-headed experienced middle aged woman fit for the responsibilities that go with looking after a man like you.
Miss Cross liked your letter very much - she has since been saying every few minutes what a pity we can't live in the cottage rent free!!! Quite mad, but dearly so.
The rehearsal went well last night, Mr Eriksen came in to listen & buttonholed Hoch afterwards. I heard him telling her that as sure as we were here now Russia would be at war with the rest of the continent soon and he didn't think England could keep out of it for long. I hate people who state facts like that as if they knew! He also told us of the best crit he'd read on Anthony & Cleopatra - which had said now was the time to decide whether Bacon or Shakespeare wrote the plays by paying a visit to the tomb of each & finding out which was the most disturbed!!
Kathleen says only 4 were at Cookery on Friday - so I must go this week - (the mistress asked K where her "attractive" friend was!!!)
It's Matron's wedding day - she was being married at 12 o'clock & the reception is at an hotel in Earl's Court - I do so wish I could have gone. I seem to take such a melancholy delight in weddings!! It was funny seeing her yesterday - and thinking she would belong to another family by tomorrow - and that when she talked about "going home" she would be going to another place - and that if she cut her finger or was sick on the carpet there wouldn't be anybody "grown-upper" than herself to clear it up or look after her.
If you ever got a pain suddenly and went as white as a sheet - what should I do? I think perhaps if it wasn't you I should know at once & put
Animals leave their mothers when they're still babies and learn to fend for themselves while they're young, but we go on and on letting our mothers bind up our fingers and hold our heads over basins and buy us cough lozenges, until we want suddenly to break away to look after somebody else. I think I must take some courses in everything - so that by the time you marry me I'm a hard-headed experienced middle aged woman fit for the responsibilities that go with looking after a man like you.
Miss Cross liked your letter very much - she has since been saying every few minutes what a pity we can't live in the cottage rent free!!! Quite mad, but dearly so.
The rehearsal went well last night, Mr Eriksen came in to listen & buttonholed Hoch afterwards. I heard him telling her that as sure as we were here now Russia would be at war with the rest of the continent soon and he didn't think England could keep out of it for long. I hate people who state facts like that as if they knew! He also told us of the best crit he'd read on Anthony & Cleopatra - which had said now was the time to decide whether Bacon or Shakespeare wrote the plays by paying a visit to the tomb of each & finding out which was the most disturbed!!
Kathleen says only 4 were at Cookery on Friday - so I must go this week - (the mistress asked K where her "attractive" friend was!!!)
* * * *
Miss X has just come in with all news about Matron. She looked very nice & everything went well - she couldn't wear anything under her dress it fitted her so well! Miss X dressed her to go away afterwards & everybody made a horrible mess with confetti. The smallest boarder here was a bridesmaid. They drive to Bournemouth tonight & on to Torquay tomorrow.
Grannie isn't very well - so I don't know whether I shall be able to go to tea with her tomorrow - anyway I shall knit wherever I am! - & I shall be at the office at 5.45.
- All my love till then, my dearest dear - I'm afraid I'm a bit of a coward sometimes.
Mary
Thursday, 20 October 2016
20th October 1936 - Postcard from Mary to Terrick
Monday
I have just thought that it might be a gesture if you wrote a note to thank Miss Cross for Saturday. I have told her all we did & said "thank you very much" two or three times - but it doesn't seem quite adequate for Two of us - & she specially asked how you liked it.
Love Mary
I have just thought that it might be a gesture if you wrote a note to thank Miss Cross for Saturday. I have told her all we did & said "thank you very much" two or three times - but it doesn't seem quite adequate for Two of us - & she specially asked how you liked it.
Love Mary
Monday, 17 October 2016
17th October 1936 - Mary to Terrick
Saturday O.V.S.
My darling - Thank you a million times for writing me the nicest letter I shall ever have from anyone in this life again - especially as I never dreampt you'd write as well as 'phone. It was lovely to hear your voice - & I was so excited after it that Patricia let me play "God Save the King" on her cello before I went to bed! After I had read the letter this morning I said to myself "that really is the most beautiful one I've had" - and then I thought a bit more and added "I can just see him scanning it through with satisfaction and folding it punctiliously as if he felt he had evolved a masterpiece"!!
I can't make this a very long letter as it is just before lunch - & I have just typed 10 letters! - but I wanted to say that I think it would be better if I didn't try to get to King's Cross on Monday as it would muck up the rehearsal - but I'll be at Earl's Court between 9.45 & 10 just so that I can see you for an hour.
Don't worry if your train's in late - because I can wait until 11. If you're not in by then I'm afraid I shall have to go back!
- Oh, darling I'm longing with all of myself for the first time I kiss you again & the first time you put your arms right round me again. There's no feeling on earth to compare with either.
Goodbye, my very own dearest dear - until Monday.
Mary
xxx
My darling - Thank you a million times for writing me the nicest letter I shall ever have from anyone in this life again - especially as I never dreampt you'd write as well as 'phone. It was lovely to hear your voice - & I was so excited after it that Patricia let me play "God Save the King" on her cello before I went to bed! After I had read the letter this morning I said to myself "that really is the most beautiful one I've had" - and then I thought a bit more and added "I can just see him scanning it through with satisfaction and folding it punctiliously as if he felt he had evolved a masterpiece"!!
I can't make this a very long letter as it is just before lunch - & I have just typed 10 letters! - but I wanted to say that I think it would be better if I didn't try to get to King's Cross on Monday as it would muck up the rehearsal - but I'll be at Earl's Court between 9.45 & 10 just so that I can see you for an hour.
Don't worry if your train's in late - because I can wait until 11. If you're not in by then I'm afraid I shall have to go back!
- Oh, darling I'm longing with all of myself for the first time I kiss you again & the first time you put your arms right round me again. There's no feeling on earth to compare with either.
Goodbye, my very own dearest dear - until Monday.
Mary
xxx
17th October 1936 - Postcard from Terrick to Mary
We are in Harrogate changing library books. The weather is very "variable". This afternoon I go beagling if it keeps fine. If not I shall try & finish "Albert the Good". Looking forward to seeing you on Monday.
Terrick
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